Dirty Little Secrets
by LazyPanther
Summary: Everyone has a dirty little secret to keep - and that includes the seemingly perfect Hardy family members.


**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any of the characters created by "Franklin W. Dixon" or any of the song references. I am making absolutely no money from this. (I am, however, losing some sleep and a lot of time. Hmm...)

**AN:** So... this is slightly different than anything I've tried before. Hopefully it's still somewhat entertaining, or at least interesting. My plan is to go through each Hardy family member and reveal their "dirty" secrets. I guess they could be call "character studies". First up is Laura, because she was the one that inspired this whole mess, for some odd reason. I don't even really like Laura. I mean, she's OK but kinda boring. The subtitle is taken from the song that sorta inspired this idea. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but this in NOT a songfic, I swear. Anyway, this is what I would imagine Laura's secret would be if she had one. I rather like the idea of the less-than-perfect characters. *evil grin*

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**LAURA**

"**He Thinks He'll Keep Her" **

There once was a time she could have left him. She almost had.

***

Laura had always imagined growing up to have a family of her own, ever since she was a little girl with pigtails. She would marry a handsome man who adored her and eventually she would have his children, live happily ever after. That was her plan, just like so many other young girls.

She had just never expected it would happen so soon.

But Fenton Hardy was a very handsome man and quite the charmer when he wanted to be. She just couldn't say no to him. So, even though her mother begged her to wait until she was just a little older, she married Fenton when she was twenty-one and he was twenty-six. Those first few years were among the happiest years of her life.

They were both intent on their goals. Fenton worked on the New York police force, a "rookie" who aspired to be a detective someday. Laura was busy studying for her bachelor's degree in library science and interning at one of the branches of New York City's public library. She had always loved reading and learning anything new, and she decided being a librarian would suit her well. Her favorite part of her internship was when she got to read to eager groups of children at story time, their little faces gazing up at her in wonder and adoration.

Sometimes it was difficult to keep things up at home. Fenton was hopeless as a cook; the man could hardly boil water without something going wrong. She couldn't understand how such a smart person could be so inept at something so simple. Accordingly, she would rush home to make dinner before he got off his shift. At least he tried to help her with laundry and cleaning, though it took a few loads of bleached clothes and some training before she trusted him enough to do it on his own.

At almost the age of thirty, Fenton was promoted to detective status on the force. This meant increased work hours for him, but Laura could not resent that when she saw how excited he was about it. She knew it had always been his dream to be a detective, and made it clear to him that she supported him all the way. Meanwhile, she had graduated and begun working full-time at the library.

During the year she turned twenty-five she came home early one day feeling tired and a little sick. That weekend she planned a romantic dinner for two at a ritzy restaurant in Manhattan, where she declined the waiter's offer of wine and told Fenton that he was going to be a father. Later, she wished she had taken a camera along so she could have captured the awed look on his face when the news sunk in.

It wasn't until her son was born that she realized something had been missing in her life. When she gazed into his wrinkled pink face topped with a thatch of black hair, she felt a sense of completeness. He was the most beautiful sight she had ever beheld, and she could barely take her eyes off of him long enough to kiss Fenton and watch him snap photo after photo of his wife and firstborn, pride and amazement evident on his face.

Frank, named after Fenton's late father, turned out to be a relatively easy baby to care for. He wasn't fussy and he rarely cried, only whimpering when he wanted attention. His dark round eyes and silky brown hair clearly marked him as Fenton's son, and his father proudly showed him off every chance he got.

Laura made the decision not to return to work soon after her son was born, unwilling to leave Frank with a babysitter for too long. Fenton was making enough money to support the three of them, and with a baby to care for Laura found her job more distracting and less fulfilling than before. She had a new direction in life, and she fully embraced it.

When Frank was almost eighteen months old, Laura gave birth to her second son. Expecting another dark-featured child, she and Fenton were surprised to greet a nearly bald blonde as the newest addition to their family. Squalling and wriggling, her youngest son's debut to the world couldn't have been more different than her firstborn's. Yet, it felt the same as the first time she had held a newborn to her chest – awe-inspiring.

At first, Frank didn't seem too impressed by his new brother. He watched the loud pink form warily from the arms of his father, curious but timid because of the noise. When the baby finally fell asleep, Fenton set Frank down on the bed beside his mother and introduced them. The toddler's first move was to reach out and poke the baby's face, stopping when he was reprimanded gently and told to be nice. Then he tried again, eyes wide, this time touching the baby's hand carefully. Pink digits curled around his finger immediately, and Frank looked up at his grinning parents excitedly.

From early on, Laura could tell that they would be close. When Joseph, named after her own father who had died when Laura was in her teens, was old enough to walk and keep up with Frank, the two of them were never separated. They played together for hours and almost never fought. When Frank finally went to kindergarten, it nearly broke her heart to see the distressed look on her youngest son's face when Joe realized that he couldn't go with him. But at the same time, it warmed her to see the two of them getting along so wonderfully. A few friends of hers had told her stories about their own children and how they couldn't seem to stand their siblings. It made her proud to know her sons were different.

By the time Frank started going to school, Fenton had left the police force and begun working as a full-time private investigator. He had procured quite a respectable reputation for himself on the force, and he had no to little trouble finding clients. Of course, this required them to find a bigger place so Fenton could have an office.

But before they could finalize anything, tragedy struck them for the first time in their marriage. Fenton's mother, who had been living alone in Bayport, died of a heart attack when Frank and Joe were respectively five and four years old. Fenton was crushed, of course, but it wasn't entirely unexpected, since she had had known heart problems for most of her adult life. Fenton's older sister, Gertrude, had been visiting there when their mother had passed, and she assured her younger brother that the doctors said she had gone peacefully in her sleep.

After the funeral, it was decided that Fenton would get the old, two-story house that had belonged to his parents and grandparents. Soon Fenton and Laura moved their family to the small town of Bayport, New York. Fenton threw himself into his work, more than ever before, and Laura focused on taking care of him and making sure the boys got settled into their new home.

It didn't take long for Fenton's agency to flourish. Within two years, he was busy enough to need to hire an operative, Sam Radley, to assist him on cases. He was constantly active and never had a shortage of clients, especially once he started doing occasional work for the government. In no time, Fenton was even doing jobs overseas, and as his reputation as an international investigator grew, so did his workload.

Laura busied herself with housework, home improvement projects, and taking care of the boys' school-related matters. When she had fixed up the house to her liking, she started doing volunteer work in the community, trying to meaningfully fill the hours that used to be spent with her husband.

The more Fenton's name became known, the less he seemed to be at home. Half of his cases were out of town, and sometimes he would be gone for days, or even weeks, at a time. He usually managed to be home for any special occasions, particularly for the boys' sakes, but sometimes he would forget or would get too caught up in following a lead to take a break from it.

The boys, especially Joe, seemed to be understanding about it. They were both immensely proud of their "famous" dad and often proclaimed their desire to be "just like him". It made Laura feel happy and sad; happy that they loved and looked up to their father so much, but sad that they didn't even seem realize how much of him they were missing. Most of what they felt toward him seemed to stem from his job. Fenton was always a cool dad because he was a detective or because he "caught bad guys". He was hardly ever a cool dad just because he took them on fishing trips or because he taught them how to play ball.

Sometimes it made her angry. But most of the time she just felt lonely, and she longed for the time before Fenton started going solo. Back when she had felt complete and appreciated.

Three years after Fenton's mother passed, Laura got a phone call. Her own mother was in the hospital, and it wasn't looking good. Frantic, she'd tried calling Fenton to let him know, but his phone kept going to voicemail. She finally gave up on getting a hold of him, and called Gertrude instead, asking her to come and stay with the boys while she flew to California to see her mother. Gertrude, although sometimes an exasperating woman, was quick to respond and made it to Bayport by that afternoon. Laura had never been so happy to see her. After saying her goodbyes and thanking Gertrude again, she took off for the airport.

Her mother had been battling cancer for several years, and her step-father explained to Laura when she got there how badly it had spread. The doctors were unable to do anything for her at this point but keep her comfortable.

As Laura sat beside her mother's hospital bed, holding her hand, she thought back to the time her mom had asked her to wait a few years before getting married so young. Maybe she should have listened to her mother's advice. At first, everything had seemed great for them, but now she felt so alone, even with a family of three. She loved her husband, and she adored her sons more than anything, but maybe if she had waited, she would have understood the full extent of Fenton's ambition and would have been more prepared for it. Or maybe she would have never married him at all… She shook that disloyal thought away, and concentrated on trying to get her mother to awaken.

Fenton should have been there with her.

He did call her back the next day, apologizing profusely for not answering and explaining that he had been working undercover the day before. He promised to fly out to California as soon as his "clients" could let him. That meant he was doing work for a government agency of some kind, and they needed him to finish something before he took off on a family emergency. She felt an intense relief at hearing his reassurance, and it strengthened her to go back to the hospital that morning.

Her mother didn't make it through the week. She quit eating and drinking, and it went downhill quickly from there. Laura had never felt so helpless in her life, as she watched her once vibrant mother fade away before her eyes. One day, she fell into a coma and never woke up. Several of Laura's mother's family and friends came in to say their goodbyes before her second husband gave the okay to have the life-support removed. It was the single, most-devastating moment of Laura's life, worse than even her father's sudden death. And Fenton wasn't even there to help her through it.

When Fenton called that night, she almost didn't answer. But after staring at the ringing phone for a few moments, her need for comfort won over her need to be angry. Her strong resolve didn't last for very long when the first thing he told her was that he would fly in the next morning. When he asked how her mother was doing, she broke down completely. In that moment, she wanted to hurl the phone against the wall, to see it smash into hundreds of pieces, to not hear the guilt thick in Fenton's voice as he apologized again for not being there sooner.

They stayed long enough to attend the funeral and pack some of her mother's personal items to take home before returning to Bayport. The next few weeks for her passed by in a daze. The boys' had been distraught to lose another grandparent so soon, their last living one, but they soon bounced back in that resilient way that most children have.

Fenton restricted his work to small local jobs so he could be home for Laura, but after three weeks he was forced to return overseas for previous engagements. She listened with no expression on her face when he explained the need to go. It was important work, he said. His investigation could help many people, save lives even. She knew that, and on some level she was proud of him. It didn't keep the resentment from festering, though. It was hard to accept that she wasn't always her husband's number one priority.

Laura distracted herself by cleaning and cooking and doing anything else Gertrude would let her do to keep her mind occupied and focused. But every once in a while, she would see a picture or hear a phrase that would remind her of her mother and it was like losing her all over again. Some days she would crawl into bed and doze for hours, but it seemed like she was never rested. Her sister-in-law had no idea how to help her, but Gertrude wisely reserved judgment, having lost her own mother just a few years prior.

Really, while most of the grief she felt did stem from the passing of her mother, a good deal of the pain she felt was compounded by the apparent disregard from her once attentive husband. A part of her said she was being unfair to him. A larger part said that she had every right to feel wronged and angry.

These were the events that led up to one of the darkest nights of Laura Hardy's life, a night that could have gone so differently and changed her life so drastically if she hadn't been stopped by happenstance.

***

It was about two months after her mother died. Fenton had been gone and returned and left again. He called daily to check on her, but Laura had started to ignore his phone calls. She just couldn't handle the apologies and the regret in his voice. It all sounded empty to her after so long, no matter how sincere he may have been. She was just so tired of this life, so tired of being here. She had no purpose; she wasn't allowed to be a loving wife, not with Fenton gone, and she wasn't needed as a mother, not with Gertrude here.

She sat on their bed, staring at the photos on her dresser. All the many pictures of her and Fenton, the boys, and their whole family together… They looked so happy, but those times felt so far away now.

Laura closed her eyes in shame when a memory from earlier in the day came back to her. She had snapped at her youngest son when Joe had asked again when his father would be returning home. Her anger and volume had startled and even frightened him, and she would never forget the hurt look on his little face. Frank had witnessed it, and his disturbed frown told her he was upset as well. She'd apologized and sent them outside to play, but the incident was not yet forgotten. Joe had been shy in saying goodnight when she came to tuck them in, and Frank had acted a little coolly toward her, not reciprocating her hug or kiss as he usually did. She got the distinct impression that her eight-year-old was disappointed in her. Laura felt for him. She was disappointed in her too.

It was long after midnight when she came to a decision, sitting alone in the dark at the foot of their empty bed. She quickly and quietly pulled her suitcases out of the attic and began packing her clothes. When she was dressed with two full suitcases ready, she tiptoed down the hall and toward the stairs. She allowed herself to pause at the door of her sons' room, listening to the sounds of gentle breathing coming from within. Tears stung her eyes and she debated opening the door to check on them again, but she decided to move on lest her resolve be broken by the sight of her children. Gertrude was here; she would take good care of the boys' until their father came home.

She made it down the stairs and left her bags by the front door while she went into the kitchen to grab her car keys. Her hands were shaking so badly that she almost dropped them. She headed back toward the front door, keys in hand, when she noticed movement on the living room stairs.

Frank stood there in his Batman pajamas, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He blinked at his mother, and Laura stared back at him, horrified. Her eyes darted to the entryway where the damning evidence of her planned escape could be seen. She prayed that he wouldn't look that way.

"Mom? What're you doin'?" Frank yawned, barely awake. She was thankful for the darkness, hoping that he wouldn't notice she wasn't in her night clothes anymore. She discreetly slipped the keys behind her back.

"Nothing, sweetie. Why are you up? You should be sleeping."

Frank stared at her for a few seconds, and Laura began to panic thinking that he'd figured her out. But then he just answered calmly, sounding a little irritated.

"Joe woke me up. He had a nightmare. I went to go get you but you weren't in your room." He yawned again. "He said he doesn't wanna go back to sleep. I think he's scared. Can you come see him?"

Laura looked at her young son standing on the landing and then at the suitcases sitting by the door. And that's when the reality of what she had planned to do hit her. She swallowed painfully.

"Yes. Yes, I'll… I'll be right up." She managed a shaky smile, and Frank nodded gratefully before turning and moving up the stairs to deliver the good news to his brother.

As soon as he was out of sight, Laura collapsed against the living room couch, knees trembling. The car keys fell from her limp fingers as she sank to the floor with her legs pulled up in front of her. She stared at her packed and ready suitcases and brought her hands up to stifle the sounds as heaving gasps shook her body. Her eyes burned with shame and regret, pouring trails of liquid fire down her face.

What would her mother say if she could see her now? The thought nearly made her retch. What kind of coward would actually consider abandoning her children? She was a horrible mother. Her boys deserved better than her. At least their father always came back to them. She didn't even know where she had been planning on going, never mind when or if she would have returned.

She didn't know how long she sat there, shaking and crying and unbearably ashamed, until the sound of floorboards creaking startled her. The last thing she needed now was for Gertrude to catch her.

Laura staggered to her feet and quickly but quietly grabbed her bags and carried them back into her room. She hid them in the back of her closet and covered them with a blanket, paranoid that someone would check her closet and know what she had almost done. After washing her face and taking a few breaths to calm down, she finally went to check on Joe. And if she held him and Frank a little too tightly they didn't complain.

***

After that self-enlightening incident, she took charge of her household again, kindly but firmly rejecting Gertrude's assistance. Her sister-in-law looked at her suspiciously but seemed pleased with Laura's newfound strength and determination to take back her responsibilities. Eventually, Gertrude decided it was time for her to be on her way again, and Laura was relieved to see her go. She needed to feel needed and it was hard to do that with Gertrude Hardy around.

She went back to volunteer work and even started working part-time at a local bookstore. Fenton came and went as per usual, alternately spending weeks at home and weeks away.

Laura eventually found herself accepting of this, much to her surprise. When he was gone, she focused on helping people and raising her sons. When Fenton was home, he made a noticeable effort to spend as much time as he could with them, even delegating his assignments to his operative, something that was hard for him to do. Fenton took her on vacations and out to dinner often, and he took the boys on weekend trips and taught them little detective tricks.

She wasn't sure what inspired him to try harder than before, but she suspected her meddling sister-in-law was responsible. For once, she was grateful for Gertrude's interest in her personal affairs. It made the life she lived more than bearable – as the years went by she even began to enjoy it.

There was an invaluable lesson Laura learned through her volunteer efforts - helping people less fortunate than you made you learn to appreciate what you had. Maybe it wasn't the ideal that she had envisioned as a girl, and it was far from perfect, but she had a husband who faithfully loved her and had given her two beautiful sons. Things could only improve with time, and she was willing to work for it.

Many people regarded her as a strong and independent woman. Laura didn't feel inclined to tell them that the strength was sometimes difficult to maintain and the independence was a weak façade that had somehow developed into a genuine trait. Others tried to pity her "situation" but she wouldn't allow it. The last thing Laura wanted was misguided pity. She wouldn't be where she was if she didn't want to be.

As far as she was aware, no one knew about her botched attempt to run away. As long as it depended on her, no one ever would. It was her dirty little secret to take with her to the grave. What her family didn't know couldn't hurt them. It was a painful burden she would bear alone for the sake of them all.

But Laura was not a fragile woman and she loved her family – she could handle it. She was a Hardy, after all.

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**Subtitle:** "He Thinks He'll Keep Her" by Mary Chapin Carpenter

**AN the Second:** So... what do you think? I hope it wasn't too boring. I know I tend to go on and on and on and on... And you'd be surprised to see how much I cut out. :/ And I didn't have this beta'd so any mistakes in grammar/spelling you see would be 100 percent my fault. Point them out if you see them, please. I'm sure something sneaked by me.

I'm still working on the other three (or four) parts. I have pretty good ideas about what Frank and Joe's secrets would be, but Fenton is giving me some trouble. I have a vague idea but I'm afraid it's been overdone and the other ideas I have are a little too dirty for me to follow through with. And Gertrude... So far I'm planning on leaving her out all together unless something comes up. The one idea I had for her was kinda lame.

Anyway, please review!! :)


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